The Golden Girls Watch: CATS The Musical
by Ginakabina
Summary: Due to a mix up at the video store, The Golden Girls are stuck watching CATS the Musical


The Golden Girls sat on their couch, Sophia in the chair. Dorothy got up and put a tape in the VCR. And sat right back down. Blanche had rented "Roman Holiday" from the video store.

Naïve Rose asked " What movie are we watching?"

"Well Dahling, It's Roman Holiday. One of the most romantic movies ever." Blanche said in her Southern Accent.

Dorothy said in her deep voice " I never cared for Roman Holiday….."

" You don't know what your talking about, Pussycat! You know, Dorothy my teenage years was like Roman Holiday. Picture it, Sicily, 1916, A beautiful poor village girl with long flowing auburn hair with a bosom like a French Maid falls in love with a rich duke with sleek black hair he has a lot of money. One night, They make sweet, sweaty passionate love on her parent's old tattered couch. That Poor girl. Was me. And That Duke was Duke of Albany, Leopold. You know Queen Victoria's son "

" Ma, That isn't what Roman Holiday is about!" Dorothy grunted. " And your lying"

" Shush! It's starting!" Blanche and Rose said together.

A man dressed as a silver tabby cat slid into the middle of the stage

_Are you blind when your born?_ He sang.

" Well. This isn't my movie!" Blanche exclaimed.

" There must have been a mix up at the Rent a Video." Dorothy said very matter a factly.

Blanche threw her hands up " What IS this?"

_Jellicles do and Jellicles would Jellicles would and Jellicles can Jellicles can and Jellicles do _

Rose smiled " I think they are supposed to be kitties."

The Girls stared at the television. Many people dressed as cats sand and danced.

" Well, It isn't that bad. I mean look at all those men in tights, dancing around, getting all sweaty and hot in those tight costumes." Blanche chocked on her salvia and put a hand on her neck.

" What's a Jellicle?" Rose asked.

Dorothy put one hand on Rose's leg " Rose, Listen. They are telling us what a Jellicle is."

The movie carried on, Rose- very confused. Dorothy- Taking mind notes so she could out wit her peers about this movie. Blanche- Salivating over then men. Sophia- Well, She was sleeping.

" OOOooO!" Dorothy shook her head in pain as a pure white cat did many flexible moves. Putting her leg to her head. Going down into splits.

And as the white cat put her rear in the air and gracefully moved her legs in the air Blanche pointed out " I did that once! Mel Bushman would never forget that. Hehe"

" Why doesn't that surprise me?" Dorothy bellowed.

The movie carried on once again..

" Oh…..my…..goodness." Blanche gasped.

Apparently, Rose had sat on the remote and put the VCR on slow motion.

As a man in a sleek black extremely tight outfit on shook his body around and humped the air Blanche was defiantly aroused she yelped in pleasure.. As was Dorothy, secretly.

After the song was done, Blanche smiled as she walked out of the living room " Excuse me, but I got to go take care of something. This opportunity is too good to pass up!"

Rose giggled " Hey Dorothy.."

" What Rose?" Dorothy growled.

" What do you think Blanche has to take care of?" Rose asked and smiled.

"… HER SHRUBS! What do you think you nit wit?"

Rose shrugged "…. Take a bath?"

" Shut Up."

The VCR was playing at normal speed now. The song was filled with two tiger striped calico cats singing about stealing stuff.

" I used to be able to do that!" Rose exclaimed and pointed to the television, which had the two cats doing many cartwheels holding each other.

" You could?"

Rose blinked " Yes. Back in St. Olaf I was on the gymnastics team everything was going well until….."

" Shut Up, Rose."

The Musical continued with many interruptions from Rose

Sophia's snoring got louder with every song passing.

" MA!" Dorothy screamed.

" Huh, What? Hell with you. I'm going to bed. I don't want to see a whole bunch of sissies dancing around." Sophia walked off.

Before the musical was done, Rose's eyes were filled up with tears. As a woman dressed as a old cat sang her heart out she was then reincarnated.

" Wait? What happened? Where is she going?" Rose looked around.

Dorothy shouted " Rose, you pea brain, are you paying attention at all? Grizabella is going to be reincarnated at the Heaviside Layer!"

" Well, I'd NEVER name my cat Grizabella and I'd never send her to the

"Oh shut up Rose. Dorothy grunted.

The Musical was soon over.

" I didn't like it." Dorothy said at last. " Had very little point to it."

" I liked it. It was confusing but fun."

" I don't like you."

" Goodnight Dorothy." Rose said, ignoring her.

* * *

><p>I dont own Golden Girls or CATS. My first Golden Girl Fanfiction. :)<p> 


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